Visiting your aging parents is usually a pleasant and agreeable experience. You talk about family memories and simply enjoy spending time with them.
Things are different now that your dad has been showing signs of dementia. Those once pleasant visits are becoming more challenging as your dad regularly raises his voice, argues, and sometimes exhibits combative behavior.
You know this isn’t the father you’ve grown up with — dementia has changed him. Your love for him, though, compels you to learn why he’s getting angry and what you can do to help.
From our guide:
- You’ll gain insight into why dementia patients may become angry and how to respond with compassion and dignity, learning techniques to de-escalate outbursts.
- You’ll receive five tips for dealing with an angry parent with dementia, including showing respect, avoiding confrontation, and educating yourself about the disease.
- You’ll discover seven common triggers for anger in dementia patients—such as unmet needs, confusion, environmental factors, and caregiver overload—to help you identify and address the underlying causes.
Read on for insight into why dementia patients show anger and how you can respond to their anger in a productive and helpful way.
Table of Contents
What Do You Do When a Dementia Patient Gets Angry?
Dealing with anger in dementia patients always involves treating them with compassion and dignity. When a dementia patient gets angry, responding in the following ways can help meet the patient’s needs and de-escalate their feelings and outbursts of anger:
- Show respect
- Avoid confrontation
- Educate yourself
- Don’t take it personally
- Determine the underlying cause of the anger
5 Tips on How to Deal with an Angry Parent with Dementia
#1: Show Respect
Treating dementia patients with respect is always the right thing to do — even when they are displaying unpleasant acts of anger.
It may not be immediately clear what is spurring the anger, but responding with respect can help calm the patient while maintaining their dignity.
#2: Avoid Confrontation
Meeting the anger of a dementia patient with your own frustration may only make the problem worse. Instead of facing their anger with direct confrontation, try these techniques instead:
- Ask questions rather than trying to argue with them.
- Remain positive.
- Offer reassurance.
- Speak slowly, in a calm and quiet tone.
- Give them some space. Step away from the conflict — as long as it’s safe for the patient — to give you both a chance to calm down and regroup.
Above all, keep safety — yours and theirs — the number one priority.
If the patient becomes physically combative, don’t respond with force. Reach out to others for help or call 911 if necessary. When calling 911, inform the operator that the patient has dementia, which is causing their anger and aggressive behavior.
#3: Educate Yourself
If this is your first time caring for a loved one with dementia, it’s probably uncharted territory.
One of the best ways to provide compassionate care for your loved one is to educate yourself. Once you are more familiar with the disease and its implications, you’ll be in a better place to navigate the journey together.
Take advantage of the following resources to prepare yourself with knowledge about dementia and how you can help:
- Alzheimer’s Association
- National Institute on Aging
- Alzheimers.gov
- Alzheimer’s Foundation of America
Traveling the dementia road with your loved one can be challenging and lonely. Don’t try to do it alone. Look for a local caregiver support group to help provide necessary encouragement and assistance along the way.
#4: Don’t Take It Personally
The loved one you’ve known all your life is changing. Give yourself the grace to accept that.
There can be numerous triggers that set off anger in dementia patients, like discomfort, hunger, or confusion, that don’t relate to you personally at all. Remind yourself that your loved one is not lashing out at you or trying to hurt you intentionally.
#5: Try to Determine the Underlying Cause
When dementia patients become angry, try to identify the cause. Watching patterns can be helpful, as well.
For example, does your loved one seem to get agitated regularly right before dinner? Maybe their hunger is setting them off, and an afternoon snack is in order. If their anger seems to be apparent later in the evening, perhaps the fatigue of the day is catching up with them. Starting the bedtime routine earlier could help them wind down a little easier.
If a pattern doesn’t seem apparent, take note of the activity occurring before the anger outburst to see if it contributes to their anger.
Determining the cause of the anger can help you create strategies to diminish those triggers.
7 Reasons Why Dementia Patients Get Angry
Many things can be responsible for triggering anger in dementia patients — even things like boredom or too much stimulation.
Below we’ll look at seven common reasons loved ones with dementia may become angry to help you know how to lessen the occurrence of anger or deal with it when it happens.
#1: Unmet Needs
When a dementia patient gets angry, it may be due to an unmet need they’re not quite sure how to communicate.
For example, perhaps they are uncomfortable because the sweater they are wearing is itchy. For someone without dementia, this would be easily remedied by changing sweaters.
If you’re in the throes of dementia, you may not know the best way to handle that situation. You may understand that your clothes don’t feel right but may not have the words to communicate your discomfort due to a loss of vocabulary.
#2: Loss of Recognition
As dementia progresses, patients may not recognize their loved ones. This can make them feel threatened and bring on fear, aggression, and anxiety.
For example, you may visit your mom weekly, but when she no longer recognizes you, she may feel threatened and angry at the presence of someone she believes to be a stranger.
#3: Delusion, Paranoia, and Hallucinations
People with dementia may not have a firm grasp of reality at times. This can result in hallucinations, paranoia, and delusions.
Though everyone with dementia may not experience these symptoms, when they do, it can be scary and difficult to manage. It can also make them anxious, further contributing to feelings of anger.
#4: Environmental Factors
We may not always be able to control the environment our loved ones with dementia live in. When environmental factors change, dementia patients may not have the ability to understand those changes, causing confusion that may lead to anger.
Some of those environmental factors may include:
- Unfamiliar surroundings
- Loud noises
- Chaotic atmospheres
- Discomfort from pain, hunger, or fatigue
- Medication side effects
- Feelings of loneliness, boredom, being overwhelmed
- Confusion from losing train of thought
#5: Misunderstandings
Communication with dementia patients can become challenging because they may not fully understand what is being communicated to them.
When you try to correct what they think they’ve heard, they may show frustration, thinking you are wrong or that you are being domineering. This can lead to fear, anger, and conflict.
For example, you may go to a doctor’s visit with your father, who is showing signs of dementia. The doctor tells your dad he thinks it’s time for him to stop driving, but a few days later, he expresses anger when he can’t find his car. You remind him of the doctor’s recommendation, but your father fully believes the doctor said it was okay for him to drive as long as he is careful. His misunderstanding of what had been communicated to him days earlier now brings anger and confusion.
#6: Caregiver Overload
With dementia, it isn’t only the patient who is affected. Caregivers can struggle, too.
Caring for loved ones with dementia day in and day out can take a toll. In your tiredness, you may feel overwhelmed and experience caregiver burnout.
When you’re experiencing caregiver overload, you may feel frustration, anger, and impatience. Even if you don’t act on those feelings or verbalize them, the person you’re caring for may pick up on them and start displaying those feelings themself.
#7: Poor Diet or Hunger
Maybe you’ve used the new word “hangry” to describe your five-year-old who starts misbehaving because he hasn’t eaten lunch yet.
Dementia patients can get “hangry” too. In a Frontiers in Nutrition study, research suggested that poor nutrition and eating habits may lead to different behavior patterns like aggression and anger.
Caregivers can help reduce incidences of anger by ensuring their patients are eating a healthy diet and getting adequate nutrition.
How Senior Living Can Help Dementia and Anger Outbursts
The team members at our Senior Services of America communities are our most prized asset. Our memory care staff is highly trained and has vast experience in understanding how to deal with dementia and anger outbursts.
Skilled caregiving staff can:
- Recognize unmet needs
- Communicate clearly with their patients
- Avoid confrontation
- Gently redirect
- Determine underlying causes of anger
This allows Senior Services of America caregivers to meet their patients’ needs before anger becomes an issue — with respect and dignity.
Senior Services of America Provides Caring Support for Dementia Patients and Their Loved Ones
Find support and compassionate care for your loved one with dementia at a Senior Services of America memory care neighborhood or purpose-built community. We are committed to providing nurturing care in a residential environment for those with Alzheimer’s or other memory impairments.
Here’s what you can expect with our Memory Care Program:
- A resident-centered approach to foster belonging, preservation of dignity, and sense of self
- Life enrichment activities
- Health care partnerships
- Nurse management
- Trained staff members available 24 hours a day, seven days a week
- Individualized care and service plans
- Programs to engage residents mentally, physically, and emotionally
- And more
We operate according to the following values to ensure quality customer service and operations for both our residents and team members:
- Safety – for residents and staff
- Residents as the priority
- Integrity – striving to always do the right thing
- Open communication
- Respect for everyone
- Empowerment of residents and staff
- Accountability for quality care, high standards, and service
Come see what our communities have to offer your elderly loved one with dementia. Our goal is to maximize independence while providing the support your loved one needs. Contact us today to learn more.
The content in this blog is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.